In response to your numerous request for a review of the new Ghostbusters remake, my girlfriend Sissy and I attended a matinee at our local theater yesterday.
I chose the AMC Desert Ridge theater because it's just steps away from one of my favorite bars located in the same mall. Sissy and I prepared for the movie like we always do, by having some delicious hot wing appetizers and as many margaritas as we had time for. The temperature outside was 112 degrees so it goes without saying we were extremely dehydrated when we got to the bar. Sissy's athletic metabolism makes her sweat like a Democrat in church, so the margaritas were more medicinal than they were not.
The much-needed hydration caused us to miss our showing but we made it to the next one a couple hours later. At the theater we loaded up on some of those always-savory hot dogs, a big box of sweet and juicy Raisenetts, and of course, a couple boxes of Good 'N Plenty licorice candy - Sissy's favorite. Sadly, an otherwise pleasant moviegoing dining experience was nearly ruined by an unfortunate incident with one of the snack bar personnel. The employee in question, a surly, teen Future Felon of America in a bow tie, accused Sissy of breaking a couple of his fingers when she perhaps a little too forcefully took possession of the candy. Of course, I immediately reported his disrespecting of Sissy's space as well as what I considered to be salacious leering at her bosom to the manager who apologized and refunded our concession money and gave us a two free passes to an upcoming movie after I threatened to sue.
Once seated, we were surprised to see that this new Ghostbusters features all women. The cast consisted of that fat one who's always pretty funny, the skinny chick from Saturday Night Live, and two others. For a movie whose plot revolves around ghosts, Ghostbusters was hardly scary at all. In fact, the only thing scary about the whole thing was when one of the ghosts puked green stuff all over the Ghostbusters which unexpectedly caused Sissy to projectile vomit, creating a domino effect in the row in front of us. We pretty much had to leave at that point, as the theater itself had become a biohazard. Thankfully, the manager refunded our ticket price and gave us coupons for free movies, drinks, and popcorn.
All in all, I found the movie neither scary or funny, the acting stiff, and the writing atrocious. Sissy thought the fat chick was funny but hated everyone else. We both agreed that the ghost vomit scenes were gratuitously disgusting and that the music sucked donkeys. The only way we would consider going to another Ghostbusters movie would be if they made the ghosts more realistic and brought in that Zach muscle guy from the TV ghost show to play alongside the fat chick. Also, it would have to be a theater with better food and atmosphere.
I give Ghostbusters (2016) two rubber dog toys.