I've been getting a lot of flack lately for my frequent use of the word "retard." Hardly a day goes by without some retard sending me a scathing email concerning the irreparable shame and mental agony I'm inflicting on real retarded people - usually somebody the email writer knows or more often than not is related to. Here's a recent example:
Dear Scooter or whatever your stupid name is,
People like you make me sick. I suppose calling people retards makes you feel somehow superior. I guess you don't care what genuinely mentally disabled or disadvantaged kids or adults think when they see your cruel words, but I sure as hell do. My nephew Ronnie is severely mentally challenged, but he's ten times a better person than you'll ever hope to be. I hope you rot in hell for the hate you're inflicting on people like Ronnie.
Please go f*ck yourself.
Okay, first of all, I would never call your nephew a retard unless I saw him acting like one - it's one thing to be developmentally challenged, but it's another thing altogether to act like it around others.
Take my girlfriend Sissy's little sister Spud (not sure if that's her real name) for instance, she's got the IQ of a toaster but doesn't flaunt it, especially when given something to do like picking up dog poop or cleaning the oil stains off the driveway. Only when she starts throwing the dog poop do I ever call her a retard, but even then I'm using it as positive motivation to help her stop acting retarded, and I'm doing it in a loving, non-judgmental fashion.
Please know that I respect ALL* people, not just the smart ones.
*Does not include homos or trannies.
PS: In order to more clearly delineate real retards from the merely mentally/developmentally challenged, I am developing a new site that will feature only actual retards. The address is www.retardrodeo.com. I will run an announcement on all my sites as soon as I start producing content (don't hold your breath).