Scooter answers reader emails
Q: Almost every "story" (I use the term loosely) is about your stupid girlfriend Sissy. How about writing about something that's actually important to us, like climate change for instance?
SVN: I write about Sissy because everybody likes her (I can't count the number of requests I receive for her photos). Also, Sissy's all but got her GED, so she's hardly stupid.
Q: How come you don't write about topical subjects like the Iranian nuclear deal or global warming? You do know the polar ice caps are dissappearing, don't you?
SVN: I've addressed the Iranian nuclear situation more than once on another website. I'm pretty sure the polar caps are still there but if not, I really don't give a crap.
Q: The more of this shit I read, the more I hate you. Meanwhile, the world is burning up due to manmade greenhouse gasses. Seriously, your writing sucks donkeys.
SVN: Who's making you read it then? Not me. Go read something else because I don't even want you reading it.
Q: Love some of your stuff, but what's the deal with ignoring climate change?
SVN: Quit asking me about that.
Q: Would you say global warming is causing Sissy to sweat more? I bet it is. Maybe you should address it (global warming, not Sissy's sweating).
SVN: What are you, retarded? Stop with the global warming crap. I don't care.
Q: How about something on recycling? Many people don't.
SVN: This is not a bicycle blog and people that ride them look stupid.
Q: I just got back from Hawaii and I'm pretty sure I saw Sissy jumping out of the ocean all over the place. Have you thought about maybe writing about how climate change is warming our oceans? Sissy could help.
SVN: Those were probably whales. Sissy hasn't gone back into the ocean since she got tangled in that net in 2002.
Q: I saw where you finally wrote something about climate change in World News Bureau today, but it was stupid. Please do the subject justice.