This is where I actually communicate with my readers. I don't do this a lot so when I do, it's kind of special.
Reader: I keep waiting for a theme here. Is there going to be one - I'm getting tired of reading random crap.
Me: Thank you for your question, but I'm pretty sure your name isn't "Reader" so I'm inclined to not even answer.
Reader: Of course that's not my name.
Me: So why use the alias?
Reader: I'm not using an alias. You're the one that typed "Reader."
Me: You're a stinking liar, as I don't type. I tell my girlfriend and she types.
Reader: Than she did it.
Me: She doesn't even know you, so that's pretty much impossible.
Reader: Why do you call yourself "Me?" I'm pretty sure that's not your real name. Is your first name "Mini?"
Me: You know what my name is.
Reader: "Me" - what a stupid name.
Me: Not as stupid as "Reader." People who read are stupid.
Reader: I said that's not my name, retard.
Me: Then what is it, homo?
Reader: it's Jacques.
Me: I'd stick with "Reader." Seriously.
Jacques: You suck.