Reader Interaction

This is where I actually communicate with my readers. I don't do this a lot so when I do, it's kind of special.

Reader: I keep waiting for a theme here. Is there going to be one - I'm getting tired of reading random crap.

Me: Thank you for your question, but I'm pretty sure your name isn't "Reader" so I'm inclined to not even answer.

Reader: Of course that's not my name.

Me: So why use the alias? 

Reader: I'm not using an alias. You're the one that typed "Reader." 

Me: You're a stinking liar, as I don't type. I tell my girlfriend and she types. 

Reader: Than she did it.  

Me: She doesn't even know you, so that's pretty much impossible. 

Reader: Why do you call yourself "Me?" I'm pretty sure that's not your real name. Is your first name "Mini?"

Me: You know what my name is. 

Reader: "Me" - what a stupid name.

Me: Not as stupid as "Reader." People who read are stupid.

Reader: I said that's not my name, retard.

Me: Then what is it, homo?

Reader: it's Jacques.

Me: OMG.

Jacques: What?

Me: I'd stick with "Reader." Seriously.

Jacques: You suck.