Sissy And Bill Cosby

This morning as I casually mentioned to my girlfriend Sissy an article in New York Magazine where 35 women relate being assaulted by Bill Cosby, she suddenly burst into tears. After finally getting her to calm down (thanks again, Ben & Jerry's), she confided an experience she had with the famous comic in her youth that left her emotionally scarred for life, and me absolutely speechless.

Sissy proceeded to tell me how in 2001 she won a free ticket in a radio contest to see Bill Cosby in concert. Cosby was the biggest name to ever hit her hometown of Sioux Falls, South Dakota and she couldn't wait. 

Back in the day, Sissy was somewhat of a party animal, and she prepared for the concert like she would any other - by drinking a bottle of peppermint schnapps and huffing a little airplane glue. She said she was feeling no pain by the time she got to the concert and was delighted to find her seat was in the middle of the front row. A hot guy next to her chatted her up and offered her some ecstasy pills, which she loves. The night was magical.

Sissy said Cosby was the funniest guy she's ever seen, and that he looked directly at her when telling the best jokes. His whimsical gaze was comforting and inviting, but then she gradually became aware of the fact he was starting to undress her with his eyes. She said she tried to resist, but couldn't. Sissy felt helpless and weak as his eyes roughly tugged at her jeans.

The next thing she knew, it was morning and she was laying in a drainage culvert outside of the auditorium with her pants on backward and three dollars tucked into her bra. Overcome by feelings of shame and degradation, Sissy projectile vomited on a nearby feral cat and its kittens before collecting herself and walking home.

While Sissy can't prove that Bill Cosby snuck into her house and slipped drugs into her Schnapps, her experience so closely resembles that of the dozens of other women who've come forward, that there can be little doubt. As further proof, to this day she can't hear a joke after drinking a bottle of schnapps without violently puking on our cat. Bill Cosby needs to pay for what he's done to Sissy.