Okay, everyone knows that I've been looking for a new job - one that will allow me to execute my personal mission statement - "To productively and efficiently utilize my life skills, experience, and training to successfully achieve excellence with integrity, responsibility, and moral uprightness employing boldness and confidence with an unwavering focus on the goal of obtaining superior profitability regardless of prevailing economic conditions." Well, thanks to a recent photo I posted, that dream has become a reality.
I received a call from a prestiges prestigas well known and respected Hollywood agency Tuesday, asking for a meeting. It turns out the head, Marty Mortenson, is a big fan of my work, and just so happens has been seeking fresh, new talent for an upcoming production. He saw my photo, and voila, a star was born!
I was on set (insider actor term) all day Wednesday and Thursday, and it was exhilarating! From my own dressing room in the restroom to the craft services (insider term for food table), being a major star was pretty much all I thought it would be. I received makeup from a funny homo, rode in a golf cart between buildings, and even threw a fit and cursed out an intern whose presence momentarily took my focus off my craft during a critical scene. Later, I briefly succumbed to substance abuse, before being successfully treated at the Betty Ford Center.
I left my heart and soul on that set. To say I'm proud of my performance would be an understatement, but it's not what I think, but what you, my fans, think. Here's the ad that will appear in next month's Sweat! magazine (below). Enjoy!
Next stop: Feature films!