In an effort to reach what they consider to be their core voting group - youth 25 and under - the Harris/Walz Campaign has introduced 'fresh' branding on their promotional material. "Young voters aren't drawn to stodgy, traditional phrases. They are seeking easy-to-remember, catchy names and phrases they'll remember for more than a few minutes," said Harris For President campaign advisor Stephanie Oscar Washington. "People will remember this."
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Seemingly unfazed by me moving into the garage, girlfriend Sissy is showing no sign of abandoning her idiotic support for fetid retard Democrat candidate Kamala Harris.
In celebration of Harris choosing woke, commie-wannabe Tim Walz from Minnesota to be her running mate, Sissy and a few of her new friends set fire to our guest bedroom last night while calling for 'justice' for dead serial felon George Floyd.
By the time I got there, the fire department had already extinguished the small blaze and left. Fortunately, the furniture was from Ashley's and contained nothing flammable, although a perfectly good set of twin sheets and a My Pillow were a total loss. It looked like the Democrats had continued seeking social justice by looting the rest of the house before falling into zombie-like stupors thanks to whatever the hell they were smoking. I took advantage of their woke condition by kicking each of them in the nuts, especially the big chick who had terrorized me earlier, and dragged them into the neighbor's yard. I went looking for my girlfriend to give her a piece of my mind.
I was horrified to find Sissy passed out in the kitchen with an entire canned ham in her mouth and looked away in disgust. Not because of the ham - I've seen Sissy with a whole ham in her mouth plenty of times - but because of what she was wearing - a powder blue pantsuit, Good God Almighty. The only thing worse than seeing my girlfriend in a pantsuit is seeing her naked (ask me how I know). Predictably, Sissy's homage to Kamala was more 'fat Frankenstein' than 'sassy female politician' as several seams had surrendered to the relentless pressure of a lifetime of gluttony and sloth. The sweat stains and obvious fact Sissy had wet herself under the influence completed the appalling spectacle, and I had to get out of there before I puked.
I don't know what the future holds for Sissy and me, but her infatuation with Kamala Harris (and commie dickhead running partner Tampon Tim is turning into more than I can handle.
More later.
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I'm not going to lie, my life has turned into a living hell since my girlfriend Sissy became a volunteer for Kamala Harris(!) last week.
It's not that I care who she thinks will make the best president, it's the fact that Sissy knows absolutely nothing about politics and has only voted once in her life - a traumatic experience that left her embarrassed and shamed when a poll worker made her cast her vote in the bathroom after her gelatinous pooper substantial derriere made it impossible to close the curtain in the little voting booth.
With that in mind, you're probably asking what happened to make Sissy so captivated with a mouth-breathing retard politician like Kamala that she'd actually volunteer? Is it because Kamala is a woman? I doubt it, as Sissy seems to hate both men and women equally. Is it Kamala's political position? Maybe, if Sissy had any idea what they are.
So why is my girlfriend devoting much of her snack/nap time to electing this woman? Answer: Donald Trump. For no identifiable reason, Sissy absolutely hates Donald Trump with a passion usually reserved for vegetables. Seriously, it's like living with Robert De Niro, if Robert De Niro were to be a female the size of a parade float.
My mom thinks Sissy is doing this to punish me, but those two have never really got along ever since she caught Sissy and me doing the nasty on top of her doll collection. Yes, I do have quite a few Trump posters up in the house, and yes, I did get a large tattoo of a topless Melania on my thigh. I may also now wear my hair a certain way (literally ALL of my female friends think it's the bomb). Maybe I have spent most of our money traveling to Trump campaign stops as well as having to undergo costly PTSD therapy since the Butler, Pennsylvania event a few weeks ago. And yes, I may or may not have Sissy accidentally wear that Stormy Daniels mask occasionally/regularly on date nights, but that's hardly reason to spit in my face by supporting a politician with the IQ of a Roomba whose breath reportedly still smells like Willie Brown's pecker.
To add insult to injury, I've now got to deal with Sissy's new friends - a motley collective of effeminate men and fat chicks with hairy underarms and goatees - yech. Last Saturday, Sissy and a bunch of these commie retards individuals held an impromptu rally for Palestine in our backyard. I countered by wearing a yarmulke and pelting them with undercooked matzo balls at least until one big dude with boobs chased me out of my own yard. I came back later to an urban liberal utopia: My Trump posters destroyed, trash, drug paraphernalia, feces, and urine everywhere, my stereo, sneakers, and watch missing, and worst of all, Sissy scissoring my attacker on our brand new pleather couch - GROSS. That's it, I was done.
Since then I've been living in the garage and even with the extreme temperatures, it's better than sharing space with a hulking woke pinhead whose vision for America includes a pantsuit-wearing cackling bimbo. And oh yeah, my new girlfriend bears an uncanny resemblance to Kimberly Guilfoyle, if she had smaller tits, a lazy eye, and shorter legs - SUCK ON THAT, commie-wannabe Sissy : )
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Click pic, dufus
Click, retard
